Bad Love in 30 Songs Or Less

Synopsis of the story thread follows after the playlist:

Horrible Love Story

Snow Patrol - Chasing Cars
You start the pursuit of a partner way out of your league. If you get her, you'd have no idea what to do with the catch.

Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road
Will you become just another boy screaming her name over the rags of her graduation gown?

R.E.M. - (Don't Go Back to) Rockville
Something better happen soon or it'll be too late.

Eric Clapton - Layla
Down on your knees, boy. This is obsession.

Dusty Springfield - You Don't Have to Say You Love Me
... just let me hang around, okay?

KT Tunstall - Black Horse and the Cherry Tree
The girl doesn't even want to fall in love.

Santana - Black Magic Woman
But she's got an evil hold of your heart.

Offspring - Self Esteem
Yes, even when she sleeps with your friends. Wait, what?

Rod Stewart - First Cut is the Deepest
The beginning of the end.

Dire Straits - Romeo and Juliet
Could we just give this one more shot?

Nirvana - Where Did You Sleep Last Night?
Do I really want to know?

Sublime - Santeria
Daddy's got a new .45! Believe me when I say that I've got something for his punkass!

Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way
Okay, so this is goodbye.

The Beatles - Ticket to Ride
Going, going ...

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Tuesday's Gone
... gone.

Radiohead - High and Dry
The best thing that I've ever had has gone away.

A Fine Frenzy - Almost Lover
Didn't we almost have it all?

Alanis Morrissette - You Oughta Know
Forget about stages of grief -- I'm just furious.

Green Day - Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)
Hope you had a good time breaking my heart, honey.

Kelly Clarkson - Because of You
The hurt runs deep.

Counting Crows - Anna Begins
And then she begins to fade away.

The Pretenders - Chill Factor
Poor girl, really. See if I care.

Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah
Love is not a victory march - it's cold and it's broken.

Hinder - Lips of an Angel
What if I run into her again?

Beautiful South - Don't Marry Her
Fine -- let's just go play the field again!

Tom Petty - Refugee
And it doesn't matter to me how much you are hurting.

Bob Dylan - Things Have Changed
I used to care, but ... things have changed.

Sheryl Crow & Kid Rock - Picture
Light at the end of the long, dark tunnel?

Epic Rock

Have you noticed how many of the finest rock songs ever written are more than just straight-up rock?

I've put together a little playlist with some of the best examples of this phenomenon I could think of, and I'm happy to explain exactly what I mean -- track by track:


Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody

• It's opera. It's folk rock. It's heavy metal. It's so much more. Not only that, but Freddie Mercury and the gang deliver great examples of every style they touch here. Bohemian Rhapsody is the archetype of what I mean by "epic rock."

Derek and the Dominos - Layla

• Eric Clapton's hardcore guitar duel with Duane Allman segues into a sentimental piano ballad, capped with a chirping slide guitar. One of the greatest love songs, and Clapton did get the girl -- at least for a while.

Heart - Crazy On You

• The acoustic guitar intro is a classic on its own, and then the real song begins. The Wilson sisters move with ease through hard and soft, raucous and slow, desperate and passionate rock.

Wings - Band On the Run

• This song starts out slow and traditional, but then goes through two snapping breaks and becomes the kind of anthem you'll scream at the top of your lungs after about six beers.

Metallica - One

• Now we're really rocking. No band has mastered the art of epic rock like Metallica, where nearly every song is a study in contrasts. This anti-war missive is more nuanced than most, though.

Bruce Springsteen - Thunder Road

• Thunder Road doesn't do sharp style breaks, but still manages to somehow transform from a gentle ballad to a heartbreaking stadium rocker. You could build a career on trying to copy this song over and over.

Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird

• Like Band On the Run, Free Bird starts slow but takes a drastic turn into blistering rock. I can't help but whistling along with those legendary guitar riffs -- no matter where I am or what I'm doing.

Fleetwood Mac - The Chain

• Not too many rock standards started with a bass riff, but that's what Fleetwood Mac did here. Take one John McVie bass groove, add one unfinished Stevie Nicks lament over endless love unrequited, and wrap the whole package in the layered backing of an all-star band for the ages. This is what you get.

Pink Floyd - Time

• Parts of this song aren't even music. That's not a bad thing.

The Who - Baba O'Riley

• Lead-heavy guitar rock. Irish folk fiddle. And in the background of this glorious style contrast, there's the incessant melodic tapping of early electronica. What's not to love?

Mike Oldfield - Tubular Bells

• Most people recognize the eerie intro from The Exorcist. Beyond that, Oldfield plays everything from Bossa Nova to Russian folk on a variety of guitars, glockenspiel, pipe organ, and the eponymous tubular bells. It's in two pieces because you had to flip the LP over at some point, or else I imagine Oldfield would have simply filled an entire CD with one song. You want epic? You want Tubular Bells.

I probably missed your favorite epic rock anthem. Tell me off in the comments box below.

We Need More Guitar Solos!

There was a time when no self-respecting rock song was complete without a decent guitar solo. Whethe it was a one-note Neil Young piece, twelve minutes of Dave Gilmour fighting of a strings-and-synthesizer carpet-bombing, or a kick in the gut from Tony Iommi, you had to have one.

Those days are long gone. Nowadays, it's just a pleasant surprise to find good axe work in popular music, as soloists seems to have been pushed to the fringes of Western culture.

That's just not right. Bruce Springsteen got this guitar and he learned how to make it talk. Guitar George was strictly rhythm, he didn't want to make it cry or sing. There's an entire language hidden in that Les Paul or Strat, and we need to hear a lot more of it -- before we forget.

I wish I had the skills to contribute to the cause, but alas, I'm like Guitar George. Let me settle for simply listening to anything made by a great freatboard artist. Rock out.

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Now playing: Sublime - Santeria
via FoxyTunes